5 Things That Will Make You Have Good Sex In Long Term Relationships

Josephine Thompson

Journalist

Many people assume that getting into a long-term relationship is forsaking sex. Overlooking the fact that mature relationships happen somewhat later in life when the obligations of life start weighting on you, they claim that it's the relationship itself that is to blame.

Of course, we're not entirely blameless for the sexless rut that we place ourselves in – and not that we're powerless to do anything about it! In fact, there are several lessons to be learned that will let you get that spark back and fan into a flame of passion and body fluids.

1

Accept yourself

Having sex is a lot easier when you can accept your body. The problem with porn - besides the comodification of female bodies and general exploitative nature of it - is that porn actors stay young and beautiful because of the nature of the business. You don't have the option of jumping bodies, so you need to accept your body the way it is, whether you're 20 or 70.

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If you're lucky, you can find stuff like women-only workshops for accepting your body. Once you can feel naked and comfortable in a room of other women, you can probably be naked and comfortable with your partner. Men should also seek such help, too.

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2

Couple's weekends

It's time for group therapy! Whether you're a young, expecting couple who still want to have sex after the baby pops out, or you're sixty and want make use of that room that your son finally moved out of, you will definitely appreciate these retreats and sessions for committed people.

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The guided exercises might be as simple as learning to say "no," "yes" or "wait" to your partner, but they're crucial for forming the context for good sex. After all, we all want to be in the mood, and finding the moment when you're in it is vitally important.

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3

Learn the clit

Say what you want, but a penis is pretty unsophisticated piece of sexual hardware. Learning to work with the clit is a lot more important. So try this exercise with the lights on. Let your partner lube up your clit and try stroking gently - as if they were touching their own eyelid - for about 15 minutes. The goal is to explore the sensations.

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People say that the upper left side (looking from the stroker's point of view) is the best side to stroke.

4

Try a little tenderness

Love can be expressed through touch (...which is what sex eventually is), but people feel constrained by various misconceptions that plague them because of popular culture. So, you know, basically because of porn. Men don't necessarily have to do it harder and longer, and women don't need to moan all the time. Touch tenderly and lovingly, and make it flow naturally.

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5

Breathe

You might want to hold your breath during sex. Well, you shouldn't! Breathe deeply and freely, and you'll notice that all of the sensations are much deeper. Just breathe and remember that a climax is not a vitally important component of good sex. Intimacy is.

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